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We received a call from the police about a week ago late in the evening. My wife's grandmother reported a home invasion. The police searched the home and found no evidence that anyone had entered the home without permission. Memaw kept asking someone to leave. The officer asked who she was talking to and she said, "They're right there, dummy; on the couch." He asked for a family contact and let us know her state. A neighbor took her to the hospital and a social worker called to update us. "She's not well...", but we were told there's nothing we can do as she's her own guardian. She checked herself out a day later and called us to say, "She started a new job, but first she was taking a little vacation. Then she'd go back to the hospital to supervise things." My wife and other family checked on her during the week (she wouldn't let my wife's father, her son, in the house thinking he wanted to put her in a nursing home). After a week she slowly starts to make more sense. We call her pharmacist thinking she might be doctor shopping and have a medicine interaction (we only get a little help there, but apparently she has one primary physician and one specialist, not the problem as far as we can tell.) She has been on psychotrophics for years for bi-polar disorder and paranoia, but we can find a change in meds that would signal a change in mental capacity.
We had had other less disturbing breaches in reality before this one, but never for this length of time or severity.
Today she's back to her old cantankerous self, but this time she admits she "wasn't feeling herself". That's more than I expected she'd admit.
She'd rather die than go to a home. I don't blame her. I feel the same in regards to my independence.
I'm not sure if I'm asking for ideas for help or just a place to vent. I want to leave this world with dignity and self respect, and I know Memaw does too. I hate to watch the mental decline. Thanks for letting me puke that out.
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You know sometimes real hard decisions have to be made.
Her son is going to have to make some before she hurts someone else by accident.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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My mom is goofer than a pet coon but no way in hell would she go to a home. We have care givers 24/7. Seems to be working good so far.
![[Linked Image]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/jimmyd223/th_P1000031.jpg) "Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened."
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Sorry you're going through this. I'm not looking forward to my parents going through anything like that. Right now I say I'll never put them in a home. I just hope I'm able to take care of them as they did me.
My grandmother died in a home. But it was after 8 years of living with us while she slid deeper into the clutches of alzhiemers and dimentia. Was so sad to watch. My parents were still working full time jobs and with her getting totally out of control, we had no choice. At some point, you have to recognize your own limitations on being able to provide the type of environment they need. Tough decision.
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
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It can be tough, the only way to FORCE her to do anything is for a family member to be appointed as he guardian. That process in itself can be quit painful in itself.
I would try jimmyd223's approach first.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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We went through this with my grandfather. In fact, the dementia was so bad, my grandmother was going to go through with a little "pillow therapy" if it was going to be permanent. Though it took a while to diagnose, his heart rate was too slow, leading to a slightly low body temperature, which apparently can do wacky stuff to your mind. A pacemaker fixed that, and it's been two years, with no major issues since.
However, he did some pretty crazy schit at the hospital before the pacemaker was installed. Was speaking Finnish most of the time (which is like his 3rd or 4th language, not his native tongue), was trying to tell the captain of the ship to turn the boat around because they were going the wrong way, fought the nurses and doctors and claimed he had been raped when they installed a catheter, all sorts of kinda funny, but not if you have to live with it stuff.
"For some unfortunates, poisoned by city sidewalks ... the horn of the hunter never winds at all" Robert Ruark, The Horn of the Hunter
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It's no fun when they become delusional.
It's not going to get any better. You can't cure it, you have to manage it.
Under certain circumstances you can get a home health care nurse to go in and check on her a few times per week. You also might want to check Meals on Wheels, which will make sure she has proper nourishment.
In my mom's case, we convinced her that Dad needed to be in assisted living (which he did), and she went along to take care of him. They had an apartment together for a few weeks, but she quickly got to the point that she had to move to the memory care unit.
Routine parts of Alzheimers/delusion are the belief that people are stealing, that spouses are having affairs, etc.
Be not weary in well doing.
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Thanks for the responses. We visited Memaw yesterday and she seems lucid for now. We double checker her meds and the times she takes them. She insists she would know if she needs help. I didn't want to argue, but I don't believe that's generally true of anybody suffering from delusions. I guess we will hurry up and wait.
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Tough to see a loved way go through this. Lost my Grandmother to Alzheimer's. My initial concern with the rapid onset of her conditions would be whether she was experiencing something else like a TIA/small stroke. Something to look into perhaps.
"If dogs don't go to heaven, when I die I want to go wherever they went." -Will Rogers
"If you have a lot of self control you don't need a lot of government control" - Thomas Sowell
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Sorry you're going through this. I'm not looking forward to my parents going through anything like that. Right now I say I'll never put them in a home. I just hope I'm able to take care of them as they did me.
My grandmother died in a home. But it was after 8 years of living with us while she slid deeper into the clutches of alzhiemers and dimentia. Was so sad to watch. My parents were still working full time jobs and with her getting totally out of control, we had no choice. At some point, you have to recognize your own limitations on being able to provide the type of environment they need. Tough decision. I have had mother with me for some time now.I thought the same thing you do now.I understand now that the time will come and the nursing home will be the only way to care for her.Its very close to that point.She should be watched 24/7 and its just myself plus a lady I pay to spend 4 hours a day to help with bathing and breakfast.Very tough decision.
Ideas are far more powerful than guns, We dont let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas. "Joseph Stalin"
He who has braved youths dizzy heat dreads not the frost of age.
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People in that kind of condition cannot be trusted to manage their own meds. That's one good reason to have a home health care nurse come in.
Be not weary in well doing.
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My heart goes out to anyone providing health care for aged loved ones. I've seen it burden the caregivers to the point of collapse.
Personally my family became so unreasonable and verbally aggresive that I cannot go around them.
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The pharmacies in Alaska send out the prescriptions in a package..kind of a blister pack deal, with each dosage in a seperate pack, all months worth on a single block of paper. Just pop out each dose and away you go.
Most folks around here are medicated so they don't mess with other peoples stuff or their spouses. I hate to see my friends drugged, but it is for their own good.
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner.
Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
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Tough to see a loved way go through this. Lost my Grandmother to Alzheimer's. My initial concern with the rapid onset of her conditions would be whether she was experiencing something else like a TIA/small stroke. Something to look into perhaps. My Old Mom went through a bit of that,.....and while it required some patience, and certainly called in more than a little heartache,.....we actually learned to have fun with those episodes. At that point,....they subsided,....and she lived another 2.5 years. DIET ! .......Somebody needs to be dead sure she's eating right. Not to make light, but a hungry elderly Lady CAN "O.D." on Oreos. BDDT Luck, and strength, my friend. GTC
Member, Clan of the Border Rats
-- “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”- Mark Twain
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I agree about the diet but its hard to just get them to eat.Ensure is a life saver.
Last edited by jdm953; 07/31/11. Reason: add
Ideas are far more powerful than guns, We dont let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas. "Joseph Stalin"
He who has braved youths dizzy heat dreads not the frost of age.
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The pharmacies in Alaska send out the prescriptions in a package..kind of a blister pack deal, with each dosage in a seperate pack, all months worth on a single block of paper. Just pop out each dose and away you go.
Most folks around here are medicated so they don't mess with other peoples stuff or their spouses. I hate to see my friends drugged, but it is for their own good. Ah yes the idyllic Bush lifestyle. Welfare and meds  WildmakesureyamakefunofsocalledcityfolksAlaska ��2002-2011
Es ist nichts schrecklicher als eine t�tige Unwissenheit.
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Campfire Kahuna
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We received a call from the police about a week ago late in the evening. My wife's grandmother reported a home invasion. The police searched the home and found no evidence that anyone had entered the home without permission. Memaw kept asking someone to leave. The officer asked who she was talking to and she said, "They're right there, dummy; on the couch." He asked for a family contact and let us know her state. A neighbor took her to the hospital and a social worker called to update us. "She's not well...", but we were told there's nothing we can do as she's her own guardian. She checked herself out a day later and called us to say, "She started a new job, but first she was taking a little vacation. Then she'd go back to the hospital to supervise things." My wife and other family checked on her during the week (she wouldn't let my wife's father, her son, in the house thinking he wanted to put her in a nursing home). After a week she slowly starts to make more sense. We call her pharmacist thinking she might be doctor shopping and have a medicine interaction (we only get a little help there, but apparently she has one primary physician and one specialist, not the problem as far as we can tell.) She has been on psychotrophics for years for bi-polar disorder and paranoia, but we can find a change in meds that would signal a change in mental capacity.
We had had other less disturbing breaches in reality before this one, but never for this length of time or severity.
Today she's back to her old cantankerous self, but this time she admits she "wasn't feeling herself". That's more than I expected she'd admit.
She'd rather die than go to a home. I don't blame her. I feel the same in regards to my independence.
I'm not sure if I'm asking for ideas for help or just a place to vent. I want to leave this world with dignity and self respect, and I know Memaw does too. I hate to watch the mental decline. Thanks for letting me puke that out.
Dementia. Horrible, horrible disease. Get her help, and KNOW that the person you're about to start seeing is NOT your grandmother.
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I'm REALLY starting to enjoy your posts,.....
GTC
Member, Clan of the Border Rats
-- “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”- Mark Twain
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My wife's mom died after several years of ever-worsening Alzheimers. I would not wish that on my worst enemy. Absolutely horrible.
If I ever get diagnosed with that, I just pray I can still remember where my .45 is at.
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My wife's mom died after several years of ever-worsening Alzheimers. I would not wish that on my worst enemy. Absolutely horrible.
If I ever get diagnosed with that, I just pray I can still remember where my .45 is at. +1
Ideas are far more powerful than guns, We dont let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas. "Joseph Stalin"
He who has braved youths dizzy heat dreads not the frost of age.
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